I wonder from time to time, what is and what it is meant to be?
This sounds deep, but in the whole scope of my existence, does any of it have any meaning? Yes i know, this is one of those philosophical questions that has been asked since the beginning. And it can seem to be a little depressing, since can we ever truly really ever get to an actual answer? I believe yes, sortof. I think the answer is ever changing, from day to day. But we must continue asking it, as it is the basic fundamental of our purpose here.
For me, i really start paying attention to this question, and the multi-layers of answers whenever i am going through a rough patch. I start questioning the why’s of my life, what i am doing. You see for me, when i get into an easy flow of life, when everything feels safe and secure, everything is going in an orderly fashion, i forget to ask the questions of life. I go with the flow and everything is making sense. While in a sense, this is a nice way to live, it does not allow for me to grow and expand. I need the rough patches to make me realize that i still need to really look deep inside, that there is still more stuff to work on and to learn to enhance myself.
The rough patches suck!! Because there are times that i can be in the flow for such a long time and develop habits that when the rough patches hit, they are not just pot holes in life, but grande canyons.
So while it is nice and easy to live with the flow, i do have to keep asking myself the question, what am i doing? Does it have meaning? What is my meaning and purpose?
I have found that to really help to answer these questions, i ask myself what i believe the answer is and does it feel right, intuitively? What i mean by this is that if all i do is ask myself questions, do i ever really get an answer? Or do i just frustrate myself into just going with the flow and waiting for some one or some thing to give me an answer? When i ask the question, what am i doing? What is my purpose? and then ask myself What do i think my purpose is? What do i think the meaning is? How does that feel to me? It gets me to really focus on my inner senses of my own personal authenticity. And that is the key. I have to get to know myself, how i feel. I believe that we all have the answers to our purpose and meaning, the problem being w never listen to them. We get together in groups and decide what is and what is not and that is how it is. We loose our very essence of self, and can never really answer any of these questions.
Besides, If we continually group our answers together and do the same as the next person, can we ever really experience own very own reality in this existence?
Maybe, what i am getting at here is that i am tired of just plugging away, survivng in life, when there is a feeling, a sense deep inside me that screams, I am more! There is more to this existence than chasing around a maze. I am to make my own maze, for my own choices and decisions. Creating my own understanding of existence and experiences which will enhance my own human condition!