Getting up early. I like getting up early. It’s peacefull, quiet and calm. I get a chance to really feel who I am and how I am feeling. It is the time that I do alot of my thinking and reflection, without any distractions. Though at times, it is not very peaceful or quiet, within my head, but the outside distractions are less so that I may focus more on the inside noise and distractions.
This is a time that i can realize what I have done, the effects that they have caused and what i now have to do as consequences of my actions and or thoughts. Also, it is a time that i realize what I have not done. This is usually what bothers me the most. It is what I have not done that causes the most stress and regrets in my own mind. The consequences of my not doing is why I am still wondering “What if?”
There is always the thought, I should have done that, I could have done that, If i would have done that, maybe things would be different now. The rabbit hole of “What if’s?” It is not a good place to be stuck in. I go there every moring, and you know what? I am able to not let it control me, that much. There is one thing that really still bothers me to this very moment, on the topic of the effects to myself for what I have not done. In the morning peacefulness and tranquility, I am inspired. I can do and I will do and I will be!!!
How come at some point during the day, I lose this inspiration? This will to be? All that I know that I can do, dissapates as the day goes on. Do I just get tired? worn out and fatigued? Is it a question of will power and free will? Or could it be some form of personal punishment or karma, dictating my perseverance and determinism?
This is my thoughts of what I have not done and what I have done. I have a vision for my life, goals and outcome that I would like to reach. What I have not done, is to do that which I need or must do for the betterment of self. My own personal commitment for the strivation for my own excellence.
I do, everyday, that which others expect of me and what I think other’s expect of me. There are only so many hours in a physical day, for a physical body. I know that i must for my own wellbeing and growth, focus on self. It is just so easy to be distracted from striving for my own excellence and haappiness. In a sense, It’s hard to be me and happy, easy to be sad and miserable.
So, Getting up early and having thoughts like these, many would rather sleep. Me, I believe they make me stronger every day, and i do learn more every day.