Time, for myself, is my biggest anxiety. I could start by saying that time is an illusion created by man, but, that is only half true. Time is and always will be a part of existence, as we can see with birth, ageing and death. Time is all around us.
As for the human aspect of time, the actual hours in the day, helps us to manage our life more effeciently, sort of.
I have, forever, felt the stress and pressures of time. I always feel like there is not enough time, and with that thought, there is much that i do not do or accomplish.
For example, as I am writing this, I am so full of anxiety, feeling like there is so much to do, and I am not doing anything and running out of time. I am going back to my “real” job in four days. This job will take me away from home for weeks and months.
Maybe some background. I work bigger projects on the pipeline and when they come to an end, I take some much needed time off to get re-aquainted with family and friends. This time, I was planning on taking at least 2 months off, which extended into 3, then 4 and now 5. Wow, I am loving it!! I spent most of tht time working on myself, my health, physical and mental, but also alot of time on a passion that i have discovered within myself. This passion being one of a metaphysical journey within self, but not only for myself, but also for others. I love sharing my experiences with those that have also discovered that there is more to life than just being alive and surviving. This is why I have created a business model for guiding people on their metaphysical journey, IT Consciousness.
Now getting back to the point, Time. Time and me go way back. All i know is that I have always felt the pressures of fininte time in this body. Lately I have realized this more and more as i work on myself. It is because i have purpose for being here, as i believe, we all do. We all have a basic fundamental purpose for being here, in this body, on this earth, at this very moment. I know this is the very reason for my moments of extreme anxieties, this life will end, have i been living this life with the purpose that it was suppose to? Or was i living this life, in a reverie, just surviving one moment to the next. Not understanding what i was supposed to do and just creating frivolous purposes to give some sort of meaning to this life? And, as for the later, this would suggest that i did not believe in the eternal consciousness, this body has an expiration time and then it’s all over. But no, I believe yes, this body has an expiration time, and when it’s over, there is a part that does not die. ( I have my opinoin on this in another blog). Consciousness does survive, I am eternal consciousness. But what does this have to do with my anxiety?
My anxiety kicks in full time when i know, especially going back to work, that i will not be able to continue living my life with the purpose that i was supposed to do. That is expanding knowledge and experience and understanding of being in existence, the meaning and the reason. Work, I have come to realize, is a purpose created to keep me from being on purpose. It is much easier to create that which has no purpose, than to live on purpose. What is living on purpose?
Enhancing my human condition by living the best that i can for myself, which includes and is not limited to my physical, mental and spiritual health.
As for work, having no purpose other than to not be on purpose, is not totally true. It is a purpose, has it meaning and reasons, to provide a means to accumulate financial security and income. It also gives us meaning and false purpose. But, it is not the purpose why I am here. Just think for a moment, I come into this physical body, to get a job, pay bills, buy things, then die? I don’t know about you, but that seems kinda lame for this amazing complex bundle of atoms and cells that I call my body. Now also, i have to also say, to have this body, now at this time, i do have to still be apart of society, so i have to work and pay bills and buy stuff. The whole point here is that while we claim that anxieties are of late, “A normal part” of our society, they are part of our human condition of our being. I believe it is more like an antenna or radar for me to sense when i am living on and with purpose. When the anxieties kick into high gear, i am not living with the purpose that will enhance my human condition, i am being on purpose of that of human zombie.