Journaling has been an escape of mine for many years. Not in the act of escaping reality, but more for the fact that it brings my deepest desires and fears, thoughts and feelings out. Even onto paper, this act of venting frustrations seems to just make everything ok for the time being.
Dreams and desires can come out and when onto paper and read, there is energy in abundance that creates a spark that can induce an inspired sense of action for what one can do.
I read back into some of my journaling from many years ago and at times it seems like I am writing the same thing over and over again, just in different ways. The same pains and frustrations, the same dreams and desires. Why have I not changed any of it? If I am having these frustrations and pains in my life, why have I not done anything to get rid of or change them? And as for my dreams and desires, If i know about them and keep writing about them, why do they not become real? Why do they not happen?
There has been many times that i have put down pen and left the pages blank. Why should i write any of this down if it is not helping me to lessen the frustrations and pains, to help make my dreams and desires a reality?
As I said before, It seems like I am writing the same thing over and over, just in different ways and using different words. The frustrations and pains are less, when I do get them out, every day onto paper. To see them and to read them brings them out into the open so that I am not hiding them further back into my crazy chaotic mind. Where they can fester and currupt the many of my other thoughts, dreams and desires. Like a cancer overtaking healthy cells, frustrations and pains of life can overtake ones mind, causing mind numbing toxic thoughts and mental paralyzes. Seizing control of our sane cognitive faculties, leaving no room for the dreams or desires. Yet, when on paper, being able to see and read, or even talking about, brings them out into the open, exposes them to light, causing them to shrink. There is still the need to work on them, to live with them.
When the dream and desires are put on paper to see and to read, this is a small comfort that helps to shrink the pains and frustration.
So when I read back and think that after many thousands of journal entries, and having the same pains and frustration, the same desires and dreams, I now realize that I have changed. The way I express and describe my thoughts and feelings, the style of which I bring them out is of more depth and understanding. This is change, this is my self improvement, my betterment, my striving for excellence.
How can I proove this?
To whom do I need to prove this?
No one, but myself.
I Journal everyday, this is how I know, that everyday, I am improving myself.